Transformers: The Last Knight is a Crime Against Cinema

It has been a while since I have felt relief leaving a movie.

Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth Transformers movie from director Michael Bay, and is about something to do with King Arthur and Cybertron and Optimus Prime and some other things that are jumbled together to form something that I believe is supposed to be the film’s ‘plot’.

I don’t know where to begin with this movie. It’s atrocious. A lot of it doesn’t make sense, and the little bits that do are muddled up in questionable acting, laughable dialogue and horrendous humour.

Mark Wahlberg has proven to be a capable actor and yet still associates with Transformers. Josh Duhamel and John Turturro both return… For some reason. They even managed to drag Anthony Hopkins into this. Not that he’s bad, but it’s an insult that he is in this movie in the first place.

Among the entire plethora of meaningless robots there are a few that matter. Quintessa is introduced as the creator of Cybertron, so, in essence, God. Optimus Prime, whose going rogue has been the most heavily marketed feature of the film, is in the movie for about fifteen minutes. And Megatron is back. Wait, wasn’t he Galvatron in the last movie? Doesn’t matter. Why does he look different? Don’t think about it.

Michael Bay has once again managed to produce an overly long sequence of explosions that makes little sense and is littered with garbage that anyone can see as being of no use to the story. So much of the movie could have been cut out, and the run time perhaps wouldn’t be so torturous. It isn’t just scenes I’m talking about. Entire characters are redundant and have no reason to be in the movie at all other than to boost up the run time. John Turturro is in this for I don’t know what. Isabela Moner’s character serves no purpose at all. It’s frustrating that common sense isn’t put into these things.

Even technically, this film isn’t even average. Half the film was shot in widescreen and half in IMAX, and it keeps switching throughout the movie. Not between scenes. In the same scene. In every scene. It is the most annoying thing you could possibly experience once you notice it.

And to top off this giant mess, there’s a set-up for the next one at the end. Of course there is. Hopefully that never sees the light of day, Mark Wahlberg decides he should do better movies, Michael Bay abandons the Transformers and Paramount directs the money to better films. Obviously, that isn’t going to happen.

I usually have a paragraph-long conclusion, but for this one, all I’ll say is: It’s terrible.

On a scale where M is the lowest and R is the highest possible rating, with the highlighted letter being the rating:

Transformers: The Last Knight: MIHIR

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